Articles Audios Vids
Meet Each Child’s Needs For Improved Behavior
Conscious Child Discipline Success Secrets
Raising The Organic Unity Of Child-And-Community
End Parent Frustration
Rewire Your Brain For Extraordinary Parenting
How To Receive Bright Ideas
Make Schools Safer
The Wisdom OF Joy
Radical Optimism
Master Your Imagination To End Stress And Joyfully Succeed
Release Your True Self
A Secret To Success Story
How To Stop Worrying
Lose Your Addiction To Control & Enjoy The Gift Of Life
How To Raise Humanitarian Children
How To Really Improve The Quality Of Your Life
maintaining school bus order
How A School Librarian Saved A Child
Rise Above Chaos, Crisis and Calamity 
Love Your Way To Great Teaching Experiences
Embrace The Gift Of Suffering: Uplift The World With Liberation
Develop A Positive Attitude Toward Difficult Child Behavior
Relieve Stress, Develop Faith, For Joyful Success
What You Desire Is Coming Your Way
Stop Being Taken Advantage Of
A Secret For Teacher Inspiration
Waste No Energy On Personal Conflict
How To Win With Toxic People
Montessori Wisdom For Adults
Freedom From Unfairness
Teaching Skills For Student Learning
The Freedom To Forgive
Tips for Overcoming Classroom Disruption
Our Inner Work
Parenting Wisdom For Teachers
Recharge Your Attitude And Motivation
Positive Classroom Behavior Management
Get Free From Worry
Parenting Wisdom For Spousal Abuse
The Negative Power Of Visualization
Self-Esteem Support For Teachers
Lose Negativity For A Higher Life
Teacher / Student Motivation
How To Live A Meaningful Life
The Heart of Child Discipline
Transform Fear Into Faith
Team Building Basics For School Staff
Master Your Power To Create
Classroom Behavior Tips
Classroom Behavior Tips - Part 2
How To Live The Good Life Now
Exploding The Myth Of Ambition
Find Your Open Door
How To Live By Grace

Understanding Your Closed Doors

And Recognizing The Open Ones


You’ve no doubt heard the truism, “When one door closes, another opens.”  Sometimes, though, it seems that every door you try to open closes in your face, or remains locked, no matter how hard you jiggle the knob; closed tight as a wall even when you kick against it.  Yes, there are times when it seems that nothing we try works, and, metaphorically, we feel like we are drowning in a sea of loss.


This is actually an illusion, as life is always leading you through your open door.  What is actually going on is that you are attached to a particular way that you believe things need to open up for you in order for you to succeed, achieve your goals, or maybe even survive.  Sooner or later we all come upon the realization, though, that how we believe things have to go is not the way they are going to go.


There really always is an open door, and you really are always moving through it, and the only reason you don’t recognize it is because you do not truly know yourself. If you truly knew yourself you would recognize that the paths that are blocked would not be right for you if they opened up.


When we come upon a closed door we often react with frustration and fear, as if we really knew that we would be better off if that closed door opened.  This, however, keeps us stuck.


The reality is that your frustration and fear are based on imaginary losses, tragedies, even disasters.  What if you could drop your idea that you in any way need that closed door to be opened?  When you receive an unwanted rejection, when someone doesn’t come through for you the way he promised, when your own performance lets you down, when a promising opportunity dissolves like a mirage as you reach for it, you are encountering an open door, not closed doors.


You are always better off the way things work out than if they worked out differently.  Always.  As much as you believe you would be better off if something else happened, it is that belief that blinds you to your open door, to your present opportunity, to the blessing that is being given to you by life.  There is actually nothing preventing your progress along the path to unlimited success but your attachment to a different path.


Your open door always lies along the path of your fulfilled purpose.  Your purpose is your true function, the way that you are designed to function, meant to function.  When you function in line with your true design, your true self, you feel harmony, fulfillment, joy, energy, love, inspiration.  These inner feelings are your inner guidance that lets you know that you are on the right path for you.


When you feel fearful and frustrated in reaction to a closed door you are certainly not feeling internal harmony and happiness.  Your feeling of internal discord is letting you know that you are not presently functioning in line with your true self.  The fact that you came upon a closed door indicates that the path that is right for you leads elsewhere.  Had you been more self-aware you might have intuitively sensed the subtle feeling of building inner discord as you made efforts to advance in the direction that leads to a closed door.


The way to get back on your path of true purpose, the path of the open door, begins with releasing yourself from your frustrated, fearful reaction to your closed door.  This involves learning to relax deeply, to let go of the thoughts of catastrophe that are terrorizing you or depressing you.  As you allow yourself to sink back down into a state of unconditional peace, harmony, security, confidence and joy you are returning to your path of the open door.  From there you can take conscious action that preserves or even builds upon your inner state of joy and find the doors of success opening for you.


Sometimes, though, we cannot simply snap out of our anxiety or malaise.  We feel stuck in our feeling of being stuck, stuck in the habitual pattern of fighting against life’s flow, stuck in the mental habit of imagining the worst, stuck in the emotional pattern of deep, internal suffering.


When this happens, you can begin to dissolve your internal pain by dealing with it as an internal pattern caused by your internal reaction. If we look to the outer to save us from our inner pain we go on suffering.  For example, if you feel insecure about losing your job and you cannot relax and return to inner peace you believe that the only way for you to feel better is to receive a sign that tells you that job is secure. But that doesn't happen.


Instead of trying to get the outer to change the inner, try the opposite approach.  Go to work directly on improving your internal condition, dropping the external problem from your mind.  Once you dissolve the internal discord you will find your way to meet your needs opening up, because you are once again on the track of your purpose, the purpose you are designed to fulfill.


Sometimes our closed door comes in the form of feeling absolutely clueless of what we are “supposed” to do with our life.  We try this and try that and nothing seems to really work out for us.  We realize we don't know what to do, and then we react to that realization with frustration and fear. When you realize that to be totally honest with yourself is to face the fact that you really don’t know what to do, how to proceed, how to lead your life from where you are, you can learn to accept that turn it into an open door.


What does that door open to?  It opens to deeper, higher self-realization.  When you realize you do not know what to do, open yourself to an inner level from where your guidance can flow. When you are tired of guessing and pretending to know you are ready to open to the internal guidance within you that does know and be led from within by the sense of true certainty.  Be willing to do that which is right for you and open to the inner flow of the knowledge of what that is.  


Your genuine willingness to do what is right once you know what that is, and your relaxed, patient, inner openness to receiving the clear inner knowing of what that is opens the door to that higher, deeper level of inner knowing.  As you follow this way, your doors to true success will open even before you receive any clear idea of how to proceed or what success really means to you.  This is because you are on the path of inner peace and deep inner harmony that indicates your alignment with your true purpose.


We cannot find our way to the open door through reason or logic alone.  No idea in and of itself gives you any real guidance without a deep, underlying feeling of its rightness for you in the now.  This feeling is different from becoming excited or enthused over an idea.  In fact, enthusiasm and excitement can blind you from the deeper level of inner harmony that leads through subtler feelings of true, clear, intuitive knowing.  Your feeling of truth, wholeness, congruence, and deep inner peace indicate that you have found your true way.


If you have run into so many closed doors that you feel ready to give up, that is not such a bad thing. That might actually indicate the opening of your door.  Arriving at the point when you are finally ready to give up is actually a better place than the point where fear drives you to continue trying what is not working and worrying about the future.  When you are ready to give up, you relax, you cease your struggle and that allows you to begin to feel inner harmony once again.  You stop fighting and begin going with the flow.


Deep inner relaxation is really the key to finding your open door. When you come up against resistance it does not mean that you are failing.  It just means, “Try another way.”  And when every way that you try seems futile, it is time to trust the way things are. When you do that you will discover that right here where you are is your open door.


Sometimes we need assistance in releasing ourselves from the resistance and fear patterns that keep us fighting our closed doors and missing our open ones.  In my phone coaching I guide individuals through The Method for accomplishing this.  Your immediate release and relief comes in just 20 minutes.  To discuss this with me directly, contact me through my website  If you would like me to present my keynote, seminar or retreat on the principles and practices for finding the open door to your organization or association, including businesses, schools, hospitals and community organizations, click here.



Motivational Speaker Power For Your School Or District 
Phone: 770-364-9580email: 
© 2008 Bob Lancer. All Rights Reserved : : : Web Hosting by - Designed with SiteBuilder

Bob Lancer's    Professional Development &                Motivation for Schools

Created with the SiteBuilder.