Parenting Wisdom For Teachers
As a teacher, it can help you better handle student discipline challenges by understanding how they often originate.
Children become like their parents! This fact can not only enhance parenting wisdom but also prove helpful to teachers.
More specifically, child behavior, moodiness, classroom attitudes, ways of communicating and emotionally reacting all reflect their parents modes of self-expression to a significant extent.
The student who displays hostility toward authority, who argues with you, who attempts to take over the class, who chatters on and on, who displays inappropriate physical aggression... all of this and more provides keys to how his or her parents conduct themselves at home.
In a sense, teaching children means teaching their parents!
In my parenting classes one of the first “ah-ha” moments that occurs to parents happens when they realize how their children’s behavior problems and even character weaknesses like lying or sneaking express behaviors those parents themselves have modeled.
Some of the most powerful parenting wisdom that can be shared is to observe your child closely to recognize the ways that he or she reveals how YOU need to grow
Close observation of the child is among the most essential parent skills to improve child behavior.
When a parent really sees how a behavior problem demonstrated by his child replicates a pattern of his own, that parent holds a key to leading the child into better behavior.
A common mistake made by teachers is to "judge" a parent by the parent's appearances.
Despite the fact that parents appear to be wonderful people during your brief meetings with them, if their child is behaving poorly or under-performing in the classroom, you can safely presume that there is some way the parents' self-conduct contributes to the child conduct problem.
It pains a troubled child deeply when a teacher says things like, "Your parents are such wonderful people. Why don't you try harder to please them (or to be like them)?"
On some level the child "knows" that there is something going wrong in the parent-child relationship, and when the teacher overlooks this the child feels more alienated, alone and despondant - which triggers poorer conduct.
By contrast, when the teacher understands that the child is receiving an influence at home that contributes to the behavior problem, and enters into conversation with the student to discuss what's going on at home, the child feels relieved and an improved teacher-student bond is being built, a bond which can promote improved student performance in the classroom.
In addition, if the child with an anger problem mentions during this conversation that his dad displays a lot of rage at home, the teacher can offer some coaching like, "Even if your dad is showing you a lot of anger at home, remember that you do not HAVE to be angry like that with your classmates."
This can help the child to better understand himself and to make better choices for himself, and it further builds a meaningful bond between the student and teacher that further supports the child's motivation to perform well.
Sometimes the teacher can CAREFULLY delicately offer some respectful coaching to the parent during a parent-teacher conference.
For instance, one elementary school teacher observed that her student loses emotional balance quite easily and frequently, leading the child into wild, destructive, rebellious behavior.
The teacher looked for subtle signs of this coming from the parent during a teacher-parent meeting and recognized atypical emotionalism expressed by the parent.
The teacher gently suggested to the parent that his emotional patterns serve as a model for his child. This seemed to be all that it took for the parent to finally decide to get counselling for himself.
Of course a teacher does not always demonstrate this much influence. But the point is that understanding the parent-child relationship can help the teacher improve the teacher-student relationship.
Empower and enthuse the teachers in your school with a clear and helpful understanding of the causes of student behavior problems and great strategies that improve classroom discipline and student performance.
Schedule Bob Lancer to present a motivational professional development seminar or inspiring keynote speaker event for the faculty of your school.
Call 404-297-4043 or email for more information or to schedule.